Angling Participle

My how time flies...
So, one of my students innocently sent me a link to a text series about two friends exchanging fish puns (see below).
I innocently forwarded this to a friend, with whom I shared MC duties at a camp talent show, where at one point, we, you guessed it, exchanged fish puns.
I should have known what would happen, but I did not expect this...

Saturday, November 17, 2012 8:46 AM

From: Kassie Brandenborg
To: Ken Fogel
Subject: Some more puns

You send me pertinent articles, I send you puns, enjoy!

http://www.collegehumor.com/upick/6694928/text-puns

Nov 17, 2012, at 3:03 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male
 
Hey John,

One of my students sent this to me this morning. Remind you of something?

Nov 20, 2012, at 8:35 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

Ken -

FYI - that was one oft top ten favorite days of my life.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012 7:40 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Sorry for the poor spelling. Goddamn iPhone (Best device ever made).

Something is fishy with my delete button.

Nov 20, 2012, at 9:48 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 'cuz you were hitting d-eel-ete instead

Tuesday, November 20, 2012 9:11 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Kenny -

 Don't get me started. I don't want to have to take you out behind the woodshedd aquarium and take you to school on fish puns. I'm hatchling a plan right now to fry you down to your sole.

Nov 20, 2012, at 10:57 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 yeah, I should have known. caviar emptor. but I was thinking "once more round the pike," for roe time's sake. You can scale down the hostility, though. I minnow harm.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 6:49 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Are you shore you want to continue? I sea us unleashing a tsunami of ocean puns if we don't keep this at bay.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:30 AM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Oh, buoy. You're right. Wave gone too far already. I've tide to stop myself, but now it's more exstream.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 8:37 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Son of a beach! That last one was pretty salty. It almost gave me an old man in the seazure. But now I am drawing a line in the sand. I'm sure island a good one schooner or later. The floodgates are officially open.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:00 AM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

Exseallent! The best kind of manta-man combat. I have some windrous things in storm. But it just ocurrent to me to ask about your family. How are the spawn?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:23 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 You are krilling me. I am starting to foam at the mouth. My off-spring are being swamped by puns, but I don't give a flying fish. I am not ready to conch out just yet. How is your little brood doing?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 12:17 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Well, to be honest, I am sardine to get tired of the boys' shellfishness. They love *school* of course, but their interests are diver-ging. Kier p-reef-ers sports; Avram likes to bassk in reading. No more seabed-wetting, which is good. How about the fishwife?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 12:50 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Tanks for asking about Megan. She has been doing just breezy, although you know she can be a bit of a tempest when the wind blows from the south. Mostly smooth sailing for us lately, though. I hope you and Gill are doing well too.

 Megan has been getting a bit clammy of late due to my attempt to win the tidal for best caster of punny fish tails. I hope my victory won't be a fluke!

 Speaking of flukes, I just made up a really bad whale joke: Why were the whales all crowded up against the shoreline? Because the baleen's that way.

 Now I am getting really frothy. I just also came up with an equally bad squid joke: Why were the all the squids hugging each other? Because they were trying to cuddle a fish.

Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2012 3:16 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Whoa, that's a boatload! Great net income! Unfortunately, I haddock killer time trying to figure out your jokes, and did not want to make a foam pas by admitting ignorance. ["Gill" - brill-iant!] I bow before your troutstanding contributions.  Have I mentioned one of my "sayings"? "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day; teach a man to phish and he can retire"

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 2:26 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Man-o-war, you are reely kraken me up! Compared to this string, my other emails from today are abyssmally plain. I should have sean the writing on the narwhal, baracudan't.

Wed 11/21/2012 5:33 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To:  John Male

 !!!!!!

 when a punsturgeonerates jokes like that, it leaves me roughy round the edges!
 the words are stuck in my crawdaddy... i haddockough up a lungfish!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 5:37 PM

From:  John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 I shrimply can't get enough of this carp. And we're not dolphinished yet! I am Neptuned in, and urchinly await some morray of your punFishment. Send me another eelmail, prawnto!

Nov 21, 2012, at 7:34 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Perch-ance you have heard of crabin fever? Shark pain in the forehead, filetbored breathing, voice seahoarse, unable to smelt.

 It's horribail.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 7:34 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Oyster veyster! I am starting to feel a little eel. We may be getting in too deep. We are entrenched in oceanic puns and it's all our fault. Do you celocampth what I mean?

Nov 21, 2012, at 10:07 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Yeah, the puns grouperfectly for a while, but drilling to the coral get to you after a while. It's tunatural for me to kelp it going. I'll definitely be forced to do peninsula.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:27 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 I don't mean to give you the needlefish, but I sea otter people making jokes about aquatic mammals, so why aren't you? Jonah had a whale of a time when he tried it. I guess you must be "clammin' up ovah dare". Don't take sea cucumbrage with my conchfrontational tone - it's all in good pun.

Nov 21, 2012, at 11:10 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 At first, I didn't see a porpoise in it... orca-re that much. "Beaver-y careful what you say," my dad used to say--and he is mahi-ro.  Are we done? It's too soon turtle.

 I just hope that someone reading this doesn't distortoise. In the words of Joe Pesce, "Do I look like a clown-fish to you?!"

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:25 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Well, you threw that aquatic mammal comment back in my octopuss.  And "mahi-ro" was the catch of the day. I laughed so hard I eggsperienced a little nau-sea. Then I realized: who doesn't like nautical nonsense? Nautilus!

Nov 22, 2012, at 12:32 AM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 It's getting late, so it's time to get turbot-charged. Otherwise I'll be floundering. A char-ity case. (OK, that last one? 'scampi) Even as I write this, my scallop itches. Halibutt's numb. messy herringing in my ears. noddinghy off.

Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:28 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Not to beat a dead seahorse, but...

 Horizon shine! Happy tanksgiving! I am bay-sting my turkey currently. I under-sand if you nemo time to captain cook yours. You probably got discrabted thinking ahead to Christmas Island. Do your captain kidds still believe in sand-a-claws?

Nov 22, 2012, at 12:37 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Good Moray-ning! Happy turtle-key day yourself. We're behind squidule, and worried about having enough time to make gravy jones locker.

 The kids are driving us up a walrus; I had to get lobstern with them.
 Are you prepping for Hanukale?
 We were thinking of hanging halibut the color clashes with our home decorca.
 Sand-tackle-aus? Yes. Tooth ferry? No.

Thursday, November 22, 2012 11:57 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 My kids only bereef in the Easter island bunny. I hope you don't need to be astern again. Hopefully you will be mast-to-beaming with joy this afternoon. I am just settling onto the seacow-ch to watch the lionfish game.

Nov 22, 2012, at 1:43 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Have you always been a Detrout fan, or only since you moved?

 ("Dolphins" is just too easy) I guess, as they say (wait for it) "Give a manatee vee and he's happy"
 Mmmm... I can smell those jiblets cooking. Somehow or rudder, we'll get through the stresstuary.

Thursday, November 22, 2012 1:05 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 I am not a sea fan of the lionfish. I hope the texans sea slug them in the mouth of their river. Coral the stress today, or it will leech your strength to a great sextant.

Nov 22, 2012, at 11:16 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 Leeward up.

 The train left the crustacean.
 You were right anemone about stress.
 So, things went swimmingly, or at least strokay. I didn't go off the deep end, or show a laps in judgment.
 Remora the same at Christmas.
 How about you?

Nov 23, 2012, at 8:18 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Oh Cod... Here we gobi again. I didn't maki a breach of cod-duck either.

 I did have to hydra from the inclaws for a few minnows upstairs pengwhen they had seacomb tuna-oying. Otterwise we had aboat as lice of an eelvening as cod be eggs-pecked-dead.

Saturday, November 24, 2012 8:21 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Holy jib sheet! You would have been so jellies. Our wadetress at dinner, the lady who surfed us, was named Mi-shell. Needlefishless to say, I added a few extra sand dollars to her black tip.

Monday, November 26, 2012 9:05 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

 [unfor-tuna-tely, there were some gleeches in the email this weekend, so I'm reefsending this one (actually two), inky-ase you didn't get it]

 Holy jib sheet! You've been savinguppy for a rainy day! I'm tapped trout. Couldn't hit the starbroad side of a barnacle now. Nothin' dune. Pooled too many mussels.

But, you'll never guess where we went today... That's right the aquarium! What a cowrincidence! Jolly roger that!
 Also, I learned a new one, and it will serve me whelk.

 Uh-oh! I just crossed the streams (which was a no-noar in Ghostboysters) (And you used 'jib sheet' before I did... Darnacle!)

Nov 27, 2012, at 8:25 AM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

 Glad you bonefished up on your lobscure marine reeferences.

 Appherringly, I need to shore mine up. I better go to the zoo-plankton to sea what, if blemmy, fish they have there.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 2:17 PM

From: Ken Fogel
To: John Male

Zoo-plankton?

Son of a gunwhale!
Algas, my seapply is running free. I am reefpeating myself. Rudderly deepleted. The gulltimate end. All the telltales signs.
I otter quit whale I can still seaweed (sea or weed).
I yeeld the clam to the tight-hull.
Codgratulations!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 1:46 PM

From: John Male
To: Ken Fogel

I can't salmon up the strength to lift the trophy fish, plus I don't have room for it on my mantle-ray. I conchsider the codtest tide, a dead-sea heat. I have a good nose for fish puns, and that's what it smelt like to me.

Your old chum,

John Male

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